3 Reasons You Should Befriend Your Anger

Is Anger Bad or Good?

Many people think that anger is bad, a negative emotion, and something that’s best suppressed. This is particularly true of women. While most cultures tolerate, or at least understand male anger, they denounce and shame women who express theirs. In this type of cultural context, it’s often extremely difficult for women to express or even befriend their anger.

Emotions Are A Part of Your Natural Embodied Intelligence

In actuality, all emotions are nonvalenced: neither positive nor negative, good nor bad. This is because they are natural, innate, objective, and mostly subconscious signals of change within the body and the external environment. They actually help you effectively respond and regain your equilibrium. (See A. Damasio, G Claxton, A Fogel, and Karla Mclaren as excellent sources.)

Anger As Natural Embodied Intelligence

Each emotion has a unique role in orienting you to a specific type of change and the need to respond. For example, anger’s primary role deals with boundaries and the underlying beliefs and preferences that define them. While sadness supports the process of releasing, letting go, and creating space for something new.

These Three Beneficial Attributes Are Why You Want to Befriend Your Anger

1. Befriend Your Anger to Discover and Maintain What’s Important to You

Anger can help you maintain, and even discover boundaries you didn’t even know you had. They may relate to your personal, social, professional, or spiritual life and vary between these contexts, e.g., be lax for close friends and firm for strangers.

2. Discover and Release Exiled Emotions or Parts of Your True and Authentic Self

Oftentimes, one emotion will step in and overshadow another in a form of protection. This is called masking.

3. Access and Control the Power Within Your Anger

Taking a broader view, anger is a critical part of the body’s overall defense system. It pops up with the detection of potential threats. Even more central to threat surveillance, is the body’s autonomic nervous system (ANS) and its sympathetic response, more commonly known as the fight/flight response. Anger derives its power and force from the ANS.

For More On Anger, Your Emotions, and Your Embodied Mind, See:

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